This is totally unrelated to the usual stuff crap I enjoy writing about on this blog, but as it is part of my 20′s, I’ll include it.
In recent months I have had unfortunate experiences with some falling out with friends. I have always taken these sort of things in stride, as while I was growing up I changed schools every few years and never really had a closely-knit group of friends until I entered college. I’ve never really been that comfortable with other people, seeing myself more as an introvert who tries to be an extrovert. Sometimes it was just too hard to maintain the facade, and I always relied on numero uno (that’s me!). As a result, I became someone who could take care of himself and really had difficulty with making friends.
But, life doesn’t let you stay the same forever, and college life sort of forces you to adapt to your environment and meet a lot of different people. Some of them you may end up being life-long friends. Some of them are your close friends during school, but after you fall out of touch. And then there are the hundreds of people we meet that it’s only etiquette to ask “hey, how have you been?” every once in a while. I think a lot of other people can relate to this. It’s not like I don’t want to be good friends with everyone I meet, it’s just that it’s just not possible. I believe it differs from person to person, but I have some friends I would consider brothers and sisters, and if we end up not being friends in the future, unfortunately, that is just how it is. Everything happens for a reason; we obviously do our best to lead our fates in the direction we want them to go, but sometimes that’s just how life goes.
In high school, my entire life revolved around tennis. Tennis was my life; I ate, drank, breathed tennis for 4 years straight. Most of my best friends were through tennis. I lived with my tennis coach for an entire year, in the hopes of becoming a future professional. Of course, now we know that obviously didn’t work out, but the friendships forged during that time are something I wouldn’t give up for anything. Unfortunately, I don’t really talk to most of those friends back then anymore, and the few that I do keep in touch with we may talk or meet up briefly every now and then. But in my mind, I will always be that person’s friend. Even if we haven’t talked for years, I think the first conversation shouldn’t be any more awkward that your last conversation after a round of beers. Especially after experiencing college, and now as a young professional, I realize that we meet and impact thousands of people in a given year. Many of which we will see once in our lifetime, but we would always have that experience of meeting them in the first place. For better or for worse, that meeting happened for a reason, and impacted your life in one way or another, as you also impacted theirs.
I had a conversation with a very good friend recently about our personalities. Both of us are really bothered when we know someone doesn’t like us, and as a result, probably give off the impression of trying too hard. But sometimes I don’t try at all, and that seems to bother people all the same. Criticism is a hard pill to swallow, and I’ll admit it is hard to take even now. However, it’s a necessary part of growing up, and I don’t feel that we ever stop growing, be it in our 20′s, 30′s, or even 60′s.
This essay has probably gone on longer than actually needed, but I feel it’s a valid point-of-view to think about to anyone who happens to read it through it’s entirety, and I have spent a few nights thinking about why things happen the way they do; only to come up blank with an explanation. If you are a friend, and maybe in 1, 2, 5 years we may not keep in touch or be ‘friends’ any longer, please know that you have impacted my life in some way, and that I am grateful that you were part of some point in my life.
Remember that our experiences make us strong, but what we choose to learn from our experiences make us wise. Stay hungry (and thirsty too!) ya’ll.
